It's a way of life!

     I was responsible, reliable, a role model, smart, and above all, I was religious! Every mother praised me, my teachers liked me, my peers admired me, my juniors wanted to be me, and guys wanted to date me. What more could I ask for? This lady wanted more. I was born into a Christian home. All my relatives are Christians, therefore I accepted the baton of Christianity. I regarded the concept of being a  Christian as a responsibility which I was willing to undertake. I prayed on most mornings, read my Bible, and went to church every Sunday.I was living the religious life. I did all these not because I was interested in knowing God, but I felt it was compulsory, and I would be stricken by God if I disobeyed.  I deemed God to be some improbable figure who was far off, unreachable. Some big guy up in the heavens to whom I could mumble a few words in prayer. How wrong I was. 

          The first time I felt the urge to discover something much more was in my JS1. I dabbled in Islam for a couple of weeks, but was reprimanded by a cousin of mine. After that detour, I diligently persisted in reading my Bible, which I understood not, and praying with a lukewarm attitude. In my final year, I was made the President of a Christian group in school. Apparently I was found worthy of the title, and accepted it with pride. I was pleased to be considered religiously superior. I look back at those days, and all I want to do is spank my younger self for such arrogance. As the day of my graduation loomed, the urge arose in me for something more. I couldn't place my finger on it, so I was easily deceived, by some of my peers, into clubbing and dating. It was an EPIC FAIL. I became more depressed, felt the void in my spirit enlarge. I became moody and short tempered. I graduated without knowing the true love of God for me. 

          During my gap year, I came to the realization that I had been searching for a true relationship with Christ. I gave my life to Christ over and over again, but this never lasted more than a couple of days, because I kept turning back to the ways of the world. My first semester at college was my turning point. I made friends who were not Christians, and was carried away by some of their perceptions. I went to a couple of parties, but I was so disappointed by what I experienced that I declined later invitations to other parties. To God be the glory, I was invited to a particular Christian fellowship, but I made up excuses not to go. 

          On April 24th 2010 I attended one of the Christian services, due to some nudging I received in my spirit. That was it. Oh he (God) touched me!! He spoke to my heart during the sermon, and during our heartfelt prayer at the end, he revealed to me my wrong ways, but assured me that I was forgiven. I wept till I could see no more. I was overcome by his love for me. This love that I couldn't find in guys, in parties, I found in Christ who died upon the cross for my sins. His pierced hands reached out to me, and all I could do was weep and thank him. I love him because he first loved me. Now I read my Bible because I long to know him more. I pray to him because I long to be in his presence and confide in him. I am a new creature, and my old nature has passed away. Joyce Meyer once said "you can get bored with religion but you can't get bored with a relationship with God." It's not a religion, but a way of life!


---Daughter of Zion

Epiphany…

I turned on my telly to watch the news today,

and cozied up in my resting chair,

From one channel to the next, it was all the same:

hatred, chaos, death and despair.

I averted my eyes; I knew I’d seen enough.

I pressed a little button; the telly zapped off…

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I lingered on.

I stepped outside my house to take a walk today,

but froze when I heard something moan.

I searched; I looked and there behind my neighbor’s gate,

two boys pelted her poor dog with stones.

I averted my eyes, certain I’d seen enough.

Down the block, from where I stood, I spied the coffee shop…

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I moved on.

I found myself at the city park today.

In the distance, an old lady was in tears.

Her wiry finger pointed at an approaching lad;

for in his hands, he was clutching her purse.

I averted my eyes; in my mind, I’d seen enough.

Pity stirred in my heart; I let out a dry cough…

“There is none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I walked on.

I sat behind my desk to read the Bible today,

and opened to “Hebrews” as guided by the Maker.

“Let brotherly love continue…”  Chapter 13 vs. 1 says

“…Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers.”

I thought back to my neighbor’s dog; its pain seared my thoughts…

I thought back to the stolen purse and the thief I could’ve easily caught…

I thought back to the news reports about which I didn’t pray…

I thought back to a suffering world, and efforts I’d refused to make…

I averted my eyes; you could tell I’d read enough.

My guilty conscience emerged; the blow it dealt me was rough.

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I wept on.

--- Imago Dei 

Light Cannot and Will Not Dwell Together with Darkness

I grew up in a strict Christian home, I had knowledge of the Bible and I knew what it meant to be a Christian. I practised religion according to what my parents had dictated and never really searched for a relationship with Christ. Many times in my past, I had tried to repent. I would hear the Word, take it to heart and “give my life to Christ”. I’m sure those who used to read the “Left Behind” series can relate. After each book I would bawl and pray to God to forgive my sins. For three days or so, I would be a ‘changed girl’. However, it never lasted and before I knew it, I was back to the meaningless life I had come to know. I continued this trend of ‘repenting’ for most of my teenage years.

However, when I finally left my parents’ house and gained the freedom to somewhat dictate what I did with my life, I found out that there was something missing. All my teenage years, I had waited impatiently for the time I would be able to buy what I wanted, party as hard as I wanted and just ‘live MY life’. When all these things I was dying for were all laid before me, I found myself wanting something more. I figured that there had to be more to life than this. Sure, it seemed fun at some point, but at the end of the day, there was just this emptiness I felt in my gut. It was then I went back, once again, searching for God.

I remember that service, I wept during praise and worship. I knew I had found what was missing in my life. It was soothing, sweet and satisfying and I wanted more of it.  It was then I started on my path to actually seeking a relationship with Christ.

 I have now come to understand what it means to GIVE your life to Christ. When we give our lives to Christ, there have to be some changes in our lives. I have also found out what had been hindering my spiritual breakthrough all those years. There is no way we can be of the world and of Christ. There is no accommodation for both! It has got to be one or the other! To progress in our faith, we need the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. If we still hold worldly things or things of the devil dear to our hearts, the Holy Spirit cannot dwell there. Light cannot and will not dwell together with darkness!

In doing that, I have had to let go of many things that I thought was harmless fun, things like listening to a lot of secular music, clubbing, messing around with boys etc. All I can tell you is it that it was not easy. But now I have come to see that those things are actually very harmful. Many of the things that we think are nothing but harmless fun will slowly dull our souls and break all barriers till we are back on the path of being lost.

It is still a daily struggle; nobody said it would be easy. I still fall from time to time, but we have a God of limitless grace and love. The world is a cruel place, people will disappoint, trends are ever changing but God and his Word will never change. He is the only thing we can count on. He is the only thing I will hold on to.