One year on...a testimony from Tomi Lawal

In February last year, I started this wonderful journey. Unassuming of what would become of me, full of doubts about what was happening to me. One thing is sure though, I wanted it to happen. He must have seen my desire, and acted He acted on it. He’s just awesome, I mean, He puts the desire in me, then fills me up. That’s just love.

I won’t lie by saying it’s been all rosy, cos it hasn’t. There have been quite a few times, that I was weary, I felt like nothing was happening, I felt as if I was just stagnant, making no progress. Trust me, those were horrible times, but He held my hands up and made me rise again, stronger than I was before I fell. He became my pillar and my rock. I absolutely love you.

You took off the veil that hindered me from seeing afar off, the veil of sin that made me short sighted by expanding Your Word in my heart. Indeed, Psalm 119:130 is my testimony. You’ve thought me so many things, loved me unconditionally. Even at times when I kind of ‘ditched’ you, You did not leave me to suffer with my bad decisions. I love you!

I laugh sometimes and feel slightly embarrassed (I know I shouldn’t, but I do) when I think about the things I did when we newly began this splendid journey, but it only helps me to know how far You’ve brought me. I know I’m not even close to the heights You’ve destined for me, but I know I’m on the right track. Though, I waver sometimes, You help keep me stay on track. I treasure You!

I’ve come a long way now, and there ain’t no stopping me, I only get better, with You by my side, showing me the way to go and a heart that obeys You.

A toast to the best relationship ever..cheers!

Your Precious daughter!

           

P.S- This is also to encourage anyone who’s strayed of the Way. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. He would take you back, the question is do you want to come back? Just make sure it’s not too late before you give a reply to that question.

Hephzibah

The mirror lied, every time I looked into it. All it did was show me inadequacies, inabilities...faults. It crippled me.

You see I accepted those images as truth; reality I didn't like but was so nonetheless. I struggled every time I looked at it because the images it reflected fell very short of "beautiful." 

Beautiful. That meant my hair had to be a certain way; that my skin had to glow with every ray of sunshine that fell; that my mouth had to be perfectly positioned in pictures.

But my features betrayed me. They always fell short - very short. I tried to make myself beautiful, tried to do all I could to measure up physically. It worked and each time I would give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. 

But soon the success of my efforts would wear out and I would be back again, in front of the mirror, looking and thinking, "I'm so not perfect."

It was a draining process, having to convince myself that I was beautiful. It really was. 

The strange thing was I was Christian. I was saved and knew what the Word of God said - that it called me Beautiful and blessed. It called me Hephzibah*, God's Delight and Beulah, Married. I was Hephzibah and I was Beulah - God's Delight, married to Him. Yet, it seemed, this wasn't enough. Every time I would look in the mirror, I would see scars - emotional and physical.

At times, I felt very different from what God had called me; like I was NOT Hephzibah. Not His Delight.

But I fought the feeling. I was his delight, I told myself; I was his Chosen.

But the images from the mirror started at me, weighing me down. I fought them but it often seemed I didn't win.

*"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith..." 

Weights. For me, the mirror was one. It bore down on me, telling me all sorts of lies and most of all, keeping me from fully knowing the love of my Father, my Savior, my Jesus. 

But nothing can separate me from His Love...

Hephzibah. That's what He's chosen to call me. So I lay down past images, knowing that he has called me out to be His Delight.

I am his Delight. 

I am Hephzibah.

Lay down your weights.

Signed,

Hephzibah ♥

*Hebrews 12: 1& 2

*Beulah & Hephzibah are taken from Isaiah 62:4.