It's a way of life!

     I was responsible, reliable, a role model, smart, and above all, I was religious! Every mother praised me, my teachers liked me, my peers admired me, my juniors wanted to be me, and guys wanted to date me. What more could I ask for? This lady wanted more. I was born into a Christian home. All my relatives are Christians, therefore I accepted the baton of Christianity. I regarded the concept of being a  Christian as a responsibility which I was willing to undertake. I prayed on most mornings, read my Bible, and went to church every Sunday.I was living the religious life. I did all these not because I was interested in knowing God, but I felt it was compulsory, and I would be stricken by God if I disobeyed.  I deemed God to be some improbable figure who was far off, unreachable. Some big guy up in the heavens to whom I could mumble a few words in prayer. How wrong I was. 

          The first time I felt the urge to discover something much more was in my JS1. I dabbled in Islam for a couple of weeks, but was reprimanded by a cousin of mine. After that detour, I diligently persisted in reading my Bible, which I understood not, and praying with a lukewarm attitude. In my final year, I was made the President of a Christian group in school. Apparently I was found worthy of the title, and accepted it with pride. I was pleased to be considered religiously superior. I look back at those days, and all I want to do is spank my younger self for such arrogance. As the day of my graduation loomed, the urge arose in me for something more. I couldn't place my finger on it, so I was easily deceived, by some of my peers, into clubbing and dating. It was an EPIC FAIL. I became more depressed, felt the void in my spirit enlarge. I became moody and short tempered. I graduated without knowing the true love of God for me. 

          During my gap year, I came to the realization that I had been searching for a true relationship with Christ. I gave my life to Christ over and over again, but this never lasted more than a couple of days, because I kept turning back to the ways of the world. My first semester at college was my turning point. I made friends who were not Christians, and was carried away by some of their perceptions. I went to a couple of parties, but I was so disappointed by what I experienced that I declined later invitations to other parties. To God be the glory, I was invited to a particular Christian fellowship, but I made up excuses not to go. 

          On April 24th 2010 I attended one of the Christian services, due to some nudging I received in my spirit. That was it. Oh he (God) touched me!! He spoke to my heart during the sermon, and during our heartfelt prayer at the end, he revealed to me my wrong ways, but assured me that I was forgiven. I wept till I could see no more. I was overcome by his love for me. This love that I couldn't find in guys, in parties, I found in Christ who died upon the cross for my sins. His pierced hands reached out to me, and all I could do was weep and thank him. I love him because he first loved me. Now I read my Bible because I long to know him more. I pray to him because I long to be in his presence and confide in him. I am a new creature, and my old nature has passed away. Joyce Meyer once said "you can get bored with religion but you can't get bored with a relationship with God." It's not a religion, but a way of life!


---Daughter of Zion

Epiphany…

I turned on my telly to watch the news today,

and cozied up in my resting chair,

From one channel to the next, it was all the same:

hatred, chaos, death and despair.

I averted my eyes; I knew I’d seen enough.

I pressed a little button; the telly zapped off…

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I lingered on.

I stepped outside my house to take a walk today,

but froze when I heard something moan.

I searched; I looked and there behind my neighbor’s gate,

two boys pelted her poor dog with stones.

I averted my eyes, certain I’d seen enough.

Down the block, from where I stood, I spied the coffee shop…

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I moved on.

I found myself at the city park today.

In the distance, an old lady was in tears.

Her wiry finger pointed at an approaching lad;

for in his hands, he was clutching her purse.

I averted my eyes; in my mind, I’d seen enough.

Pity stirred in my heart; I let out a dry cough…

“There is none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I walked on.

I sat behind my desk to read the Bible today,

and opened to “Hebrews” as guided by the Maker.

“Let brotherly love continue…”  Chapter 13 vs. 1 says

“…Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers.”

I thought back to my neighbor’s dog; its pain seared my thoughts…

I thought back to the stolen purse and the thief I could’ve easily caught…

I thought back to the news reports about which I didn’t pray…

I thought back to a suffering world, and efforts I’d refused to make…

I averted my eyes; you could tell I’d read enough.

My guilty conscience emerged; the blow it dealt me was rough.

“There’s none righteous on earth,” I thought; “no, not one.”

…I wept on.

--- Imago Dei 

Light Cannot and Will Not Dwell Together with Darkness

I grew up in a strict Christian home, I had knowledge of the Bible and I knew what it meant to be a Christian. I practised religion according to what my parents had dictated and never really searched for a relationship with Christ. Many times in my past, I had tried to repent. I would hear the Word, take it to heart and “give my life to Christ”. I’m sure those who used to read the “Left Behind” series can relate. After each book I would bawl and pray to God to forgive my sins. For three days or so, I would be a ‘changed girl’. However, it never lasted and before I knew it, I was back to the meaningless life I had come to know. I continued this trend of ‘repenting’ for most of my teenage years.

However, when I finally left my parents’ house and gained the freedom to somewhat dictate what I did with my life, I found out that there was something missing. All my teenage years, I had waited impatiently for the time I would be able to buy what I wanted, party as hard as I wanted and just ‘live MY life’. When all these things I was dying for were all laid before me, I found myself wanting something more. I figured that there had to be more to life than this. Sure, it seemed fun at some point, but at the end of the day, there was just this emptiness I felt in my gut. It was then I went back, once again, searching for God.

I remember that service, I wept during praise and worship. I knew I had found what was missing in my life. It was soothing, sweet and satisfying and I wanted more of it.  It was then I started on my path to actually seeking a relationship with Christ.

 I have now come to understand what it means to GIVE your life to Christ. When we give our lives to Christ, there have to be some changes in our lives. I have also found out what had been hindering my spiritual breakthrough all those years. There is no way we can be of the world and of Christ. There is no accommodation for both! It has got to be one or the other! To progress in our faith, we need the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. If we still hold worldly things or things of the devil dear to our hearts, the Holy Spirit cannot dwell there. Light cannot and will not dwell together with darkness!

In doing that, I have had to let go of many things that I thought was harmless fun, things like listening to a lot of secular music, clubbing, messing around with boys etc. All I can tell you is it that it was not easy. But now I have come to see that those things are actually very harmful. Many of the things that we think are nothing but harmless fun will slowly dull our souls and break all barriers till we are back on the path of being lost.

It is still a daily struggle; nobody said it would be easy. I still fall from time to time, but we have a God of limitless grace and love. The world is a cruel place, people will disappoint, trends are ever changing but God and his Word will never change. He is the only thing we can count on. He is the only thing I will hold on to. 

I am with you

I would close my eyes and they would be there. I would sense the evil, the immense darkness around and with it would come a paralyzing fear. I would try to shout the name I knew saved - Jesus - but my shouts seemed muffled. In the morning, when my eyes opened, light from the sun would greet my eyes. I would look around and see that they were gone. So I came to believe they only came out at night, that they were only a reality when I shut my eyes. I would go to bed with the light on – I had faith that the light would protect me. Unfortunately, where I lived, the light didn’t always stay on - electricity was not consistent enough to be taken for granted. So there were many times that I would go to bed in the dark, knowing that shutting my eyes could either make things worse or slightly better. Either way, I felt stuck and continued to feel this way for many years. At night, going to bed was a struggle and slowly, the fear crept into the day as well. I always had to be with someone because when I was alone, I felt the fear the most. It kept me from doing so many things; from growing the way I think I should have. Like 1 John 4: 18 says, “…fear hath torment”. Someone called it “morbid fear” and probably thought I would eventually grow out of it – all children did. However, for a terribly long time, I stayed in the cage I myself had helped create by believing that there was always something waiting to attack me.

As I grew older, it bothered me that I didn’t grow out of this fear. Sometimes, it took me ages to fall asleep even though I was tired because most times, when my eyes were open, I felt safer. I prayed and cried about it but nothing seemed to change. I knew many Bible verses that talked about God being with me and not allowing any harm to come to me but none ever seemed to really work. When I seriously rededicated my life to God, every thing in my life improved noticeably, every thing but the fear I felt. At a point, I almost believed the lie that this fear was my “thorn in the flesh”, as Paul put it in 2 Corinthians 12:7, that would not go away. Thank God I knew better than to believe God would keep me in fear to show me His grace was sufficient. Why would He want me fearful when so many times in the Bible He says to “Fear not”? So I continued to wait for the day I would be free of this torment but that day never seemed to come. I wish I had known, really known, that Jesus had already set me free!

I meditated more on the passages that talked about God’s continual presence with me. And as they went deeper into my spirit and I really began to believe them, the fear gradually subsided. Still, there were times I would feel overwhelming fear and would cry because at those times, the Bible verses didn’t seem to work. Through it all, God held my hand. In Psalm 139, David says,

⁷ Where could I go from Your Spirit? Or where could I flee from Your presence?

⁸ If I ascend up into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol (the place of the dead), behold, You are there.

⁹ If I take the wings of the morning or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea

¹⁰Even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.

He brought me to a place where I began to learn about His love. I began to see Him as my Father. I thought of my earthly father and how he did everything in his power to make sure I was comfortable and safe. Then I thought of God, my Father, the Father to my father. If my earthly father would do everything to keep me safe, then how much more would God? It boiled down to really knowing that God’s love for me was real and that if He had promised to keep me, He would.

1 John 4:18 - 19 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us”.

God loved us first with a perfect love and when we come to know Him, our love for Him develops and grows unto perfection. As we walk with Him and he shows Himself, time and time again, to be faithful, we trust Him more. As our love for Him becomes perfect, fear is kicked out because we know that He who has called us, is faithful to keep us.

So when fear threatens to come, the Holy Spirit faithfully whispers, “I am with you”. I nod knowingly and shut my eyes because God’s Word says, “…for so he giveth his beloved sleep”.

I am the beloved of God and have overcome fear with the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. Thank you Father!

These Bible verses really minister to me: Psalm 127:2; 2 Timothy 1:7; Luke 10:19; Isaiah 54:15, 17; Psalm 91.

Hurricane

It came down, missing my head by an inch or so. I looked up at the place the ceiling board once was. What was happening? Then it started.

I am jealous for you

What?! The wind began to hit the walls of my house. So strong were they that the floor beneath me seemed to shift. I grabbed the sofa behind me. What was this? The strong wind hit the house again and I lost my grip.

I am jealous for you

There it was again. What was that about? The wind hit again and I found myself bending over on the floor, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then I heard it again. Who was that? This definitely was not the time for pranks. My house was falling apart and someone was obviously having fun.

Another ceiling board fell, then another. I screamed. I had heard about winds like this. I think they were called… Something startled me. I screamed as a hole in the wall formed. I looked through the hole and saw nothing.

I am jealous for you

What was this about? Who was jealous for me? What did I have that the person wanted? Why should anyone be jealous of me? I had nothing! Then again I had heard “jealous for” and not “ jealous of”. I stopped to analyze – I was good at that – but the wind hit again and this time, I felt the foundation of the house shake – really shake.

My love is a…

Hurricane, I completed. Yes, that’s what people called these things – hurricanes. Why hadn’t anyone told me anything? No one had called for an evacuation. Who was in charge of emergency evacuations? Irresponsibility! I could taste the gall in my mouth. I despised irresponsibility. Now, I was going to die because of irresponsibility that was not mine. The sound of the roof coming off stopped my thoughts in their tracks. I ran to my bedroom. I should get out of the house. I grabbed my bag and stuffed a few things into it. I thought of the house – my house. I was almost done with the payments. Now, the house would be gone in a few hours. I ran to the door and surprisingly, it opened easily.

My love is a hurricane.

This was getting rather disturbing. I looked at my house when I got out. It was a mess! I looked at the houses around me. They too looked like they had survived strong winds but then, they had always looked that way. The houses were old and had clearly had more than their fair share of use. Apart from the usual broken windowpanes and holes in the walls, blocked crudely from the inside, they looked normal. I looked back at my house. I had always taken pride in my house because it looked so beautiful beside those old houses. Now, it looked worse than they did. This was either a sick joke or a bad dream. I fumbled in my bag for my car keys as I ran towards my car. I got in and started the engine, wishing it would pick up faster than it was. That’s what you get for asking your neighbor to fix your car instead of getting it professionally serviced. I tried again and this time it picked up. I drove off as fast as I could, wanting nothing more than to be out of that place or to wake from this dream. I was sweating and the car felt stuffy. So I let some air in the car.

My love is a hurricane

The car windows went back up. I would rather suffer near-suffocation than hear that voice in the wind. What? I caught myself. Now there was a voice in the wind?! I had lost my voice and my sanity in the same hour! Wow, lovely day!

After some miles of driving, I stopped to get some gas for my car and some water for my throat. As I walked out of the shop at the gas station towards my car, I saw it - felt it. I started to run but not towards my car. I just ran.

My love is a hurricane

I felt my hair go up and felt the wind on my bare arms. I thought this was over. I ran as hard as I could, looking for a refuge of some sort. The only thing I saw was an old-looking shack, a few meters away. I ran towards it, feeling the wind getting stronger behind me. I got in and latched the door. How was this shack to protect me from this wind that had driven me out of my house? I lurched over to the other side as the wind hit the shack. This was it! I began to cry. I had dreams – big dreams. This was not how I was meant to die. There were still things I had not done.

I am jealous for you

My love is a hurricane

The words came like they were from within the shack – loud and clear. Who are you?!

Jesus

What do you want with me?

I love you

Then why did you destroy my house? Why are you following me around? I have nothing you want - trust me!

And the wind began to talk; the voice in the wind spoke. It told me about my house; that the beauty and order on the outside only concealed the disorder on the inside. How did Jesus know this? Not only was my house not doing well on the inside, its foundation was weak. I had suspected something was wrong and had called someone in to check it. The person confirmed my suspicion and offered to fix it. He did fix it but the fix lasted only a short while. After him, others came, promising to fix my house, fixing it - but never a lasting fix. There were a lot of things I did that I should not have done. For the most part, my house’s weakness was both own doing and my undoing. A deep sense of regret washed over me.

I am jealous for you

It stopped my thoughts again. What did He mean? He told me that he loved me – had always loved me, would always love me. He said that he had built my house and His heart bled every time I called someone else in to fix it. He knew the house more than anyone- even more than I did. As He spoke with such love, I became ashamed. I had wrecked this house so loved by Jesus- wrecked it maybe beyond repair.

My love is a hurricane

How could love be like a hurricane? How? When it comes, He explained, you are not expecting it. You can’t adequately prepare for it because you don’t really understand it. But when it comes, you know it - you feel it - because you are in it.

I began to weep. I really did not deserve this love. I had wrecked my house myself – I had wrecked myself beyond repair. I had done things no one should ever do, wrecking myself as a result.

Shhhhh

I felt the wind hush me. I love you, I heard. I made you and I know how to build you again. I can make you new. That’s why my love is a hurricane. It rips out those substandard roofs and rusty bolts; those things you used to patch the holes up. It takes out those things that you think hold your life together but really only weaken you. It exposes you, so you can feel and know, really know, that I love you! My love overwhelms you and shows you that I’m the only one that can make you new; that I’m the only one that can truly hold you together. You only have to let me.

For a long time, I heard nothing. I still heard the wind, but the voice was silent.

Let me…

Jesus was asking me for permission? I thought of my house - the broken floorboards and windowpanes. I thought of me – of all my flaws, all my brokenness. Yes! I wanted to be new; I wanted to be whole. But was He the One?

Only I can…

So I said yes! I asked Jesus to come into my heart- to fix my house. As soon as I did, I wanted nothing more than to get out of the shack – the restrictions. I felt for the latch on the door and opened the door gently. I looked out and then, the first wave hit me. I fell to my knees and broke out in tears! Then the second wave hit and I found myself on my face. Ah! the bliss! I got up and walked away from the shack, farther and farther away into the wind. I felt newness and life course through my body, through my heart. As wave after wave hit me, I felt even lighter until I felt like my feet were no longer on the ground – I was floating! Every other sound faded except that of the voice in the wind, except Jesus’ voice.

I love you

I have made you new

I love you

I always will

For a long time, I wanted to stay in the wind; to savor the love and peace I felt. And savor it I did!

I was back on my feet again, as I walked back to my car. On my way, I saw a tree bending under the wind. I smiled- that was me. So I sang,

He is jealous for me

He loves like a hurricane

I am a tree, bending beneath the weight

Of His wind and mercy

Jesus is jealous for me. He loves me too much to let anything harm me or take me away from Him. His love is a magnet that keeps me attached to Him.

I love Him because He first loved me.

Victory Sheets are out again!!!

Hi,

I'm glad to announce that the second edition of our Victory Sheet is out!! Hope you enjoyed passing out the first edition. Please send feedback about the first edition and possible ideas for future editions!

I look forward to reading your testimonies about this edition. As you pass these victory sheets out, ask yourself, Religion or Relationship??

As you go about your day, let the word of God illuminate your Spirit:

The entrance and unfolding of Your words give light; their unfolding gives understanding (discernment and comprehension) to the simple. (Psalm 119:130, AMP)

Victory Sheet 2

God bless you!

Child of Promise

YES! I have testimonies!!

I have been meaning to this for the past week but laziness got the better of me. I wanted to give the testimony in church but i was too shy to go out. Here it goes!

I’m a Christian. Yes i can proudly say that. Right from when I was small, my parents have been religious. They go to church but weren’t believers. Thank God that now they are Christians. Being religious help me memorize different bible passages. Anyway when I was young, I made the decision to be a Christian in every sense of the word. I decided i wanted to know God better and serve him with all my heart, mind and soul. That is not an easy task. As i entered high school, it became really difficult to read my bible. I had a devotional which i read every morning but i didn’t understand what i was reading. I spoke to some friends about it and they encouraged me not to give up. At home, my parents taught me to always talk to God about everything in my life no matter how little. That was how God became my best friend. I still have a problem with reading the word with understanding but i thank God that he’s still there for me. I had a problem with speaking in tongues. At first, i felt like people were faking it because they kept saying the same thing but eventually I started to believe. I also wanted the gift. In church, our pastor prayed for us to receive the Holy Spirit and frankly, I was expecting some mighty feeling to come over me and i felt nothing. One day, all of a sudden, i found myself speaking in tongues and i was so glad. Since then i have been able to pray in tongues.

Now my testimony: I had a physics test coming up and physics and I aren’t exactly friends. I struggled with it through high school and here it was again. I had heard stories of how tough the professor was and so i postponed taking it for a while. I decided to brave it this semester. During the summer holidays, i prayed to God about it and made a vow to him. Well it was time for my first test and i was practising, it was like i didn’t know anything. I was still solving the easier questions and yet i wasn’t getting any. I was getting really frustrated as the test was in 2 days. I cried out my heart to God and begged him for help. Well i wrote the test and it turned out well. I didn’t get a hundred but i did well....reasonably well. I remembered God’s word, ‘cry unto me and I’ll hear you and answer me from my holy heaven’. He did exactly just that.

Now another thing is whenever I’m in church, I cry a lot. Am easily moved by any song in church or how people are praying and am not. I didn’t know why exactly until last week Sunday when we had a wonderful service in church. We were told to pray generally and i was praying i started crying. I didn’t know why exactly but i was crying so much, i couldn’t pray again. I have always wondered why whenever the pastors are laying hands on people they never come to me. I still don’t know why. As i was crying, I became afraid that the pastor will come and touch me. Well he did, and he gave me the best news ever. ‘God says He has forgiven you. Go and sin no more. Go and live a holy life. Out of your belly shall flow, springs of living water’. Wow!! I now realize why i was crying, i had always been feeling guilty in front of God. I had always been feeling inadequate and now I’m finally free.

Thank you Jesus!

Yes I’ve finally let it out.

Adaora Alaedu